A Warm Welcome to you, I’m Tondi Gilfillan
I specialise in working with couples, relationship coaching and beyond birth relationship support.
I have been working in the Northern Rivers Area for the last 12 years as a specialist therapist, both in the community sector and in private practice.
With over 7000 case hours, I am industry accredited and have extensive experience and a depth of understanding when working with individuals and couple complexity.
With beginnings in East Africa, a background in Social Anthropology and many years of travel, my partner and I arrived in the northern rivers with our backpacks in 2000 and never left. After 9 years in the Community Services Sector in management and case work, I went on to complete a Masters in Gestalt Therapy in 2010, and did my thesis on Couples Therapy. Here my passion for specialising in relationship counselling seeded, and I began my new career in the mental health sector as a Relationship & Individual Counsellor and Group Facilitator.
Since then, I have been very grateful for the invaluable specialist training I have received from some of the leading thinkers on individual and relationship health.
I have facilitated numerous relational based health programs, including post separation parenting, team building workshops, self esteem and ‘Becoming Us’ peri natal relationship preparation.
I have also co facilitated master therapist training programs with Sean Tonnet.
My Work With Couples
Your Relationship is my Client. Like plants, our relationships wilt without good attention and care. We need knowledge and understanding of what we need to help our relationships stay healthy and secure. My work supports and motivates you as a couple to work through and understand your issues to ultimately build a more satisfying and loving relationship.
Most significantly I am a fellow traveller in the relationship quagmire. The relationship with my partner of 25 years, with whom I am very lucky to have a beautiful son, is an enormous source of motivation and inspiration, and provides ceaseless professional fodder. Like all couples who brave the mine-field of couple hood, we too experience the full gamut of relationship’s ups and downs.
This keeps me humble, and helps me relate directly with the struggles that you bring.
My specialist relationship counselling training includes: Susan Johnson’s evidence based EFT approach, Terry Real’s RLT Trauma Informed Couple’s Training, The Gottman Method, Hakomi Couple Work, Doug Southeren’s – Art of Relationship, Ester Perel – Working with the Erotic and Elly Taylor’s Becoming Us relationship support for new parents.
I am a passionate supporter of LGBTI & have extensive experience with same-sex couples.
Individual Work
Individual counselling is a poignant and powerful sanctuary for confidential support, self- reflection and transformation.
I use a creative, trauma informed, integrated approach in my work, and combine relational psychotherapy techniques with research in neurobiology, attachment and mindfulness.
Together we will work through your unique individual therapy needs and I will tailor my skills to suit.
Underpinning my approach to everyone I work with is a deep reverence for each persons humanity and vulnerability. I will provide a safe, creative and intelligent holding for you as a couple or individual.
Please check my website for more detailed information and you are most welcome to call me with any additional questions.
Tondi’s Books Are Full Until Further Notice.
We Apologise for any inconvenience. Please feel free to reach out to the Clinic for other referral options.
What Clients Say
“ Tondi has guided me on a journey from severe depression and anxiety to being a functional member of society. She has great empathy and is wise and kind. She helped me confront the hard questions. Her continued support enables me to keep an even keel. I would highly recommend her to anyone. “
‘We are a gay male couple and found that Tondi held our issues, and past trauma associated with our sexuality, with the utmost sensitivity and care. We are very grateful for our sessions with her.”
“ We found Tondi to be highly skilled and knowledgeable preparing our relationship for the birth of our baby in a few months.”
“ Tondi helped us to admit and see clearly subtle levels of violence in our relationship. Whilst confronting, it has helped us turn things around in a really good way. We highly recommend her as a relationship counsellor.”
“Tondi’s guidance supported us toward a far more healthy relationship and way of communicating with each other. She is thoughtful, patient, honest and has an incredible knack for identifying unhealthy patterns and giving simple and effective tools to work through relationship challenges. It’s one of the best relationship decisions we made. Tondi is honestly one of the best therapists I’ve ever worked with, in any field.”
“Tondi Gilfillan has been my absolute rock for the past 4 years, while I traversed the many testing stages that go hand in hand with a life changing event. She has guided me from the absolute depths of despair to a feeling of wholeness and ready to soar once again. I feel a great sense of gratitude to have shared my journey with such a wonderful caring and highly skilled practitioner.”
“Tondi has supported me and my partner both individually and as a couple. She has helped us to understand ourselves better, become more familiar with our ineffective patterns and dynamics and learn really supportive tools to better communicate and connect with one another. Tondi has supported us to come closer together than ever, and understand one another at a deeper level.”
“As a professional, Tondi created a really safe, non-biased space where we could both feel comfortable to be vulnerable and unpack what needed to be. If you are thinking of working with Tondi, I absolutely recommend it.”
“Tondi has been an invaluable ally to us both throughout our journey becoming parents. While attending birth workshops & reading parenting books has been useful, most beneficial has been the work we have done on our inner selves & on our relationship- the vessel which holds everything together. ”
“During pregnancy Tondi helped us prepare for the big changes & challenges that parenthood throws at even the most solid relationship, & has gone on to support us with great warmth, kindness & wisdom as these shifts have unfolded.”